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  • Writer's pictureTracy Spiaggia

Much Needed Mental Health Help for Moms

Updated: Apr 28

When life is overwhelming, we need mental health help for moms. In this photo is a crying baby and a very stressed mom. Mom is sitting with her hands over her head, bent over in defeat. Baby is rubbing her eyes and crying behind mom trying to get her attention.

It’s all too much: the housework, the screaming kids, the exhaustion, the endless list of stuff to do.

If this extreme overwhelm is the norm rather than the exception, the consequences can be detrimental to ourselves and our families. This is why mental health help for moms is crucial for peaceful and healthy family dynamics.

Mental health help for moms is so much more than luxurious trips to the spa or weekend getaways with the girls.

Because of the daily overwhelm, we moms need to disrupt the lie that self-care is selfish or extravagant and instead move in truth by prioritizing our mental health and meeting our needs as an act of self-love. Nurturing ourselves doesn’t have to be lavish or expensive. It can look like building in 30 minutes a day to sip on a warm cup of tea without distraction, a leisurely walk in nature, journaling, taking a salt bath, or chatting with a friend while curled up on the couch even if there are piles of unfolded laundry. Making guilt-free space to do whatever fills your cup is what self-care is all about.

I, too, have felt the heavy weight of homemaking, and it’s why I’ve dedicated my career to providing mental health help for moms who feel burdened, scared, unseen, and maybe even hopeless. As moms, we are the cornerstones of our homes. When we spiral, the whole family spirals with us. Thankfully, the opposite is true, too. When we soar, so do they.

Focusing on good mental health is the second most important pursuit of life, the first being surrendering to Jesus.

Many live as if establishing their careers, finding the right partner, and collecting things are top priorities, but none of those endeavors will give us the lives we want. If we first get right with God and create a lifestyle that aims to maximize brain, mind, and relational health, we can experience less overwhelm and more shalom. Mental health help for moms is essential to achieving peace in the home, and I offer this in individual and group settings. Together, we “Heal Mom, Heal Her Family.”

Faith and mental health help for moms are the most crucial components of a flourishing family.

We all have experiences throughout our lifetimes that change us in good and bad ways. Some typical highlight milestones include graduations, engagements, weddings, first homes, and babies. If you are blessed to resonate with these, you were likely able to conjure up joyous pictures in your mind’s eye pretty quickly and have a smile stretch across your face. I know I did! That’s the good stuff! 

Sadly, there are other types of defining memories we’d prefer to forget. These are the more complex realities of life that no one escapes. Like most people, I have my fair share of painful memories. But one in particular completely changed my life.

When suffering hardship, remember - you can grow through what you go through.

Let’s examine how our worst experiences can be catalysts for explosive growth, self-awareness, and improved mental and relational health if we let Jesus do what only He can with our pain and we get the mental health support we need.

As a new wife and mom, I was lucky to do life with friends I had had for years. Even our husbands had been friends since grade school, too. I was part of a playgroup with four of these lifelong friends, as we called them back then. We each had between 2-4 kids. Can’t you picture the beautiful chaos?? At least we did it together, making us all better moms and friends. We’d meet for 2+ hours every week, alternating homes. So, we spent a significant amount of time together, sharing the good, the bad, and everything in between, just like friends do.

One warm, sunny morning, I laced up my running sneakers and walked out the front door, eager for a long, cup-filling run. Before I got three steps down the driveway, my husband shouted my name loud enough to hear him through the music blaring in my ears. 

I was instantly brought to my knees, literally.

I screamed so loudly that my best friend and neighbor five houses down heard me and came running.

My dear friend from the playgroup, whom I’d been friends with since grade school, had ended her life in the early morning hours. My world spun. I couldn’t orient myself. All I could do was wail.

At that time, my kids were seven, four, and one. In an instant, the hypothetical became a reality. I became obsessed with trying to mine my memories of her for clues, doing what we all do: trying to make sense out of the nonsensical. 

The devastation was heavy and profound, not only because of this horrifically tragic loss but also because I had struggled with depression my whole life. Fleeting thoughts of “What if I wasn’t here?” weren’t foreign to me. But I wouldn’t have ever gone through with anything. I’d flirt but never seriously engage in that dark world of permanency. But she had.

There is powerful mental health help for moms, but you can’t find it if you go radio silent.

When we are in the darkest places, we tend to make the grave mistake of retreating, of keeping our experience to ourselves because of shame and fear of being judged. This is how mental illness takes hold in the isolation that leads to desperation.

Having spent countless hours over three decades with her, I couldn’t make this square peg fit into the round hole. It made no sense to me. So, in an attempt to control the uncontrollable, I became obsessed with studying mental illness. 

Shortly after losing my friend, I went back to school, read piles of books (and even wrote one of my own), listened to endless podcasts and webinars, and dove into the heart of God like never before.

I wrestled with Him like Jacob - all night. Here I am, seventeen years later, still using my grief to reach those in that same desperate place and doing my best to be obedient to and partner with God so He can make beauty from ashes.

Looking back, there were many mental health puzzle pieces I now know were missing for her.

Many of the pieces, like the crisis of faith, poor diet and sleep, biochemical imbalances, relationship struggles, childhood traumas, and family dysfunction were never factored in because I don’t believe she viewed them as relevant to her mental health. 

Most of all, she kept her suffering secret, which prevented any of us closest to her from knowing what she was going through and just how profound her despair was.

When we release any undue shame or stigma around mental illness, mental health help for moms becomes available, even normalized.

The hero’s journey involves rising out of challenging circumstances and growing. So, what can we learn here? To me, there are three tremendous takeaways if we are to navigate the stormy seas of mental illness well. 

First, make your connection to God the single most intense pursuit of your life. 

Second, don’t hide your pain. Think of at least one trusted person you can share your experience with. In confident faith, ask for help. If you’re trying to deny or mask your pain, know that’s not God’s plan. His design is for us to confide in and lean on one another so we can heal (James 5:16). The only way to eliminate the stigma is for all of us to be brave enough to make known that which we work so hard to keep hidden.

And finally, learn about the ways and needs of the body and soul. Then, you can live a lifestyle that will yield your best holistic health. This is the God-centered functional approach to mental health that  I wake up every day to make available to everyone, to you.

This is mental health help for moms. 

If you are struggling, don't wait. Book a call now and be on your way to restored mental well-being and peace.

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